L.A. Fadeaway by Jordan Okun

Author:Jordan Okun
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gallery Books

Fucking Assistants

I get up from my desk at 12:55 for lunch and meet Kev, Gay Andrew, and Ty in the lobby before heading to Mulberry. We’re on South Beverly within three minutes, and Beverly High must have just gotten out, ’cause there are so many Persian kids around that I feel like a soldier who got separated from his platoon in the Middle East. We rush toward the counter, and I order two slices of the lasagna pizza, a side salad, and a Sprite Zero. Kevin and Tyler order the exact same thing, which I’ve been noticing a lot lately and I don’t know how to feel about it. Andrew complains about being on Atkins while removing croutons from a salad. Topics of conversation throughout lunch consist of the following: whether or not I’ve gone out with Stacey the trainer since the “salt thing” (I tell them no, and that luckily she doesn’t work at the gym anymore, which I think is a lie), Lindsay Lohan’s career trajectory and tits (real or fake), Kate Bosworth’s weight, the newest Koppelman and Levien script, and the Luke rumor about signing with an agent being just that: a rumor.

I finish my meal and am still starving. So I order a slice of Sicilian cheese and another Sprite Zero, bark at a girl standing too close to me, and sit back down in time to hear Kevin ask Tyler if he’d pass the Parmesan cheese and to please not rub it on his balls this time. More conversation floats around the table as I finish the slice of Sicilian: the new RJD2 album, assistants who snort Adderall, the “most fuckable” Jersey Shore cast member (we argue over Sammi and JWOWW while Andrew is certain it’s Vinny), and CAA vs. WME, which somehow always seems to find its way into conversation. We have some time, and the fellas want to get high because Stan is home sick, so Ty rolls a six-inch-long but not very thick joint in my backseat, and I drive up and down Charleville, secondhand-smoking what Kev keeps referring to as “That San Andreas shit,” listening to Howard Stern interview Casey Anthony.

Back inside, I run into David Michaels and his assistant Shane exiting my office. Nick is sitting behind his desk, grinning, rubbing his chin, staring out onto Wilshire. When he catches sight of me, he stands up quickly and says, “Get me someone on the phone … get me anyone right now.” As I’m searching the phone sheet, about to make a selection, a call from David Michaels’s office comes in.

“Michaels, line one!”

Nick immediately tells me to “Close my door, and put him through.” He then stands up and gazes out the windowed wall. “Oh, and drop the fuck off the call.”

I rush back to my desk. “David on one, I’m dropping off,” I tell him before slamming his door shut.

But of course I click back onto the call.

David: Are you fucking her?

Rizzo: What the fuck kind of question is that, David? You know I’m a married man.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.